2 more sleeps and he'll be home. I hope for a good long time. We need to reconnect. I'd love to go away for a few days with him, stay cooped up in a room, just him and me, no tv, no computer, no outside interferences. It'll be nice to have his warmth near me. Only 2 more sleeps.

slug on spring break

There's no kickboxing this week due to it being April vacation. I feel like a total slug. It's going to rain the rest of the week. Guess I have to pull out the cardio DVDs.

for sale

So, I find out through really good sleuth work that my 'boss' is selling the business. I'm so proud of myself for the good detective work. The business is being sold very very covertly...but alas, I am the internet guru of the year 2005. You can't mess with perfection like that. That's right.

I was just blog-surfing tonight.....WTF?? The only blogs I could find were teeny-bopper blogs or Asian blogs. (not that's there's anything wrong with Asian blogs, but they were not in English, so I couldn't read them!) I'm so frustrated.

He returns

In one week Hubster will be home. We don't know where or when he goes next. It's ok now though. He was pretty cranky and miserable for a while. I hated that. I didn't really want much to do with him. Is that all there is? Now that he's getting phone calls for the next job he's much happier. I'm glad he is because I didn't think I could stay in the relationship if that's all there was.
This past year has been very hard and I hope things turn around and we go back to 'normal'. I love him so very much and want to spend my life with him.
So, he's coming home. I'm holding on tight.

Obsessed with Rooibos

My new 'thing' is Red Tea or Rooibos (pronounced Roy-bus). I found it at a tea shop while I was in Boston a few days ago. All the research on it says it's better for you than Green Tea. It's really tasty too, and very pretty - orange/red.

Stolen Poetry

I found the following poem on Cassa 's site and thought it was pretty powerful.


Comes the Dawn
~Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up high
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
and not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in the middle of flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.

And you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn...

We'll be ok.

Hubster's current consulting job is about to end, and we don't know where he'll go next. I'm doing my best to stay positive and not stress out. I guess because he's the 'man' we've put all our eggs in his earning basket. I am totally prepared to go out there and look for a higher paying job. I've probably fucked myself over though because I've been out of 'professional-land' for a few years.
I SO don't want to stress him out, so I'm trying my best to remain calm and supportive. It's scary though. We're not going to be homeless or anything like that, but you get to a certain age and you're use to a certain lifestyle. We'll live if we have to give up our goodies, but we didn't get this age only to give it all up.

Shipped him back to Tokyo

We had a great week together. The weather was great for the most part. The snow has melted so much!
He'll be back in 26 days (but who's counting?) We don't know what his next job will be and while it's scary to not know...I'm not worried, but he's getting really frustrated. I don't want him to feel that way, but I understand. Poor guy.

I'm still a big quitter

39 days, 9 hours, 59 minutes and 48 seconds smoke free.
749 cigarettes not smoked.
$134.90 and 5 days, 17 hours of your life saved.

I love my dog, but...no.

Flipping through channels yesterday I happened upon a show about the life of a showdog. This family brought their male german shepard into the doctor to retrieve some sperm to freeze for future showdog quality pups. I.had.no.idea. I had NO friggin' idea how they retrieved 'sperms' (as the owner called it) from dogs. I guess I thought they just used a syringe and sucked those little guys up from the testicles. I hadn't given it much thought...until yesterday.
They used this object that they called a fake vagina. It looks like a very large condom, I guess. They bring in a 'tease bitch' - a girl dog in heat and when the male gets a boner (giggle) they slip this fake vagina on his, um, unit, and I guess they help him. I refused to watch any of it. I just didn't need to know that sort of thing happens. It doesn't enrich my life at all. I think I caught Hubster laughing at me. He told me that's what they do to horses. (He KNEW about this?!)
It led me to wondering how they collect sperm from other animals. Elephants!?! Just way too TMI for me.